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Congo Week Reflections: A Poem by Nganji

Nganji   in 
October 24, 2014

The Colonizer

your warm eyes
 have melted
 the disguise 
we share
walking around
 hiding our loud anger 
behind quiet smiles
and you know that
no matter how many bullet holes 
open this skin
hanging high our spirit 
will never be seen
not over there
and certainly not here
where the absence of inner beauty 
is a lie far too obscene
a lie looking into corrupted mirrors 
of recent histories
ha !
there you have it: our original sin
and it’s rooted in today’s promises
 when we’ll shout :
next time, the fire
the one that we missed in the first battles
remember ?
because if we would have won each war
we wouldn’t be called 
natives
if we would have won each war 
we wouldn’t be named 
aborigines
if we would have won each war
my sisters and brothers
we wouldn’t be known as
 autochtones
and we definitely (!) wouldn’t be carrying 
the names
of the disrespected ones
 on the wrong side of the gun
shooting at
neglected characters 
in most bestseller books
shooting at
forgotten origins of 
some poor economic predicament 
my people
hold on to
nowadays
some weak military power 
my people hold on to
nowadays
some folkloric demonstrations
 my people hold on to
nowadays
all too familiar
all too globalized
all too much
to diminish the way 
I personally fill 
each life moment
far away from these questions
my people should hold on to what ?
to which gun exactly ?
expression of self  ? 
nationality ? 
history ?
culture ? 
religion ? 
knowledge ?
 humanity ?

my people should hold on to building power
wait a minute
MY people ?
which people exactly ?
the one that should have won 
each war 
I guess
but
if we would have won each war
who would we be 
nowadays ?
who…
who would I be
today ?

-Nganji

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